On Joy

— Elizabeth Jenike, April 10, 2019

Something I’m trying to explore more deeply and define more clearly: joy.

‘Joy’ and ‘happiness’ are sometimes used synonymously, but to me they’re not the same. Choosing to ‘be happy’ is not something we all have the power to do.

Merriam-Webster defines joy as:

emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune. (source)

Let’s take the first item in that list: well-being. For me, the experience of joy is closely attached to how I feel both physically and mentally. It’s how I choose to look at things despite the panic attack gathering in my chest, despite the dust gathering on my novels and the dirt gathering on my floors unabated. Despite how tired I am, even though I am sleeping more than ever.

Happiness is separate from joy. Happiness, to me, is a state of being. A personality trait, even. I…